Why is this archaic wedding tradition still happening?

Why is this archaic wedding tradition still happening? thumbnail

My friend is getting engaged. There’s so much to do. The ring. Setting the date for the wedding. Choosing which Bryan Adams songs to include in the engagement party playlist.

But everything’s on hold, because her father is overseas.

That’s right, the happy couple is waiting until the bride’s father returns so her boyfriend can ask her dad’s permission to marry her.

It’s not just my friends who think it’s a good idea for two men to make decisions about a grown woman’s future. There are even groom websites debating whether it’s best to ask a father for his “permission” or his “blessing”.

This particular website, subtitled Get Married Like a Man, encourages grooms to “Man Up” and suggests that, “The number one reason for not going through with asking her father… is that the groom is too scared of, or intimidated by him.”

Some men even seek permission from their future father-in-law before they pop the question to their girlfriend — as if their girlfriend’s opinion on the matter is a minor detail.

Why do women put up with this? Some women say it’s romantic and respectful. Others just chalk it up to harmless tradition.

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2 thoughts on “Why is this archaic wedding tradition still happening?

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am always delighted to read articles like this. I find it bewildering that so many young women today think there is nothing wrong with this sort of archaic ritual and indeed see such things as endearing and respectful, and romantic. I find them insulting. I am inclined to bleat about these left-overs from the time the doctrine of coverture was part of our law. Women are no longer the property of their husbands and they do not lose their legal identity during marriage, so why do they readily accept this sort of thing? I think it must be that they just are not aware of the historical background to the custom. The alternative is far too disturbing.

    Keep up the good work!

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