Why do men refuse to do fertility tests?

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‘I can’t get my husband to do a sperm test,’ blurted a friend at a party.

She and her husband have been trying to conceive for over a year. But despite the mutual desire for a child, and the fact they’re both on the wrong side of 35 from a fertility perspective, her husband refuses to get tested.

My friend’s husband isn’t the Lone Ranger when it comes to having his swimmers tested. Trying to Conceive (TTC) online forums are full of women asking for advice on how to convince their partners to take a sperm test.

One woman posts: ‘My husband and I have been TTC for 16 months and so far its not working. They wanted my husband to get tested… that was 3 months ago and he still won’t go. Has anyone else had trouble getting their man to take the [sperm] test?’

Another posts: ‘The doctor said he will try Clomid (fertility drug for women) but he wants to do a sperm test on my husband first. But he is refusing to do it! Not because he doesn’t want to have children etc, but feels that it is “gross” and he shouldn’t have to because nothing is wrong with him.’

As someone who’s been through IVF, I’ve heard similar stories from dozens of women. And my first reaction is one of bewilderment. Haven’t men been practicing for this moment their entire lives? Aiming issues aside, how hard is it to ejaculate into a jar?

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3 thoughts on “Why do men refuse to do fertility tests?

  1. Funny,
    I remember twenty years ago telling my wife…”you start the car…warm it up……and I’ll be right out…..and I was….with a jar of warm sperm under my armpit….and off we drove to the obstetrician person….quite easy really…. 🙂

  2. It’s not hard at all. We’ve been through IVF for our two and trust me fellas, we get off bloody easy. The worst you need to do is have a wank, even when its your problem.

    In our case I’m the one with faulty swimmers, but she had to go through month after month of drugs to boost her ovulation, which is already painful enough at normal levels. Then its the internal ultrasound to see if the ova are growing well (including once with a very surly radiographer who just happened to be pregnant. Of course, she’s got every right to work, but the irony was dripping that day!)

    So, now we’re in the home stretch. There’s a procedure to collect as many ova as they can, the lab magic, the waiting to hear if any fertilised, then obviouly another one to put the zygote back in.

    And that’s if it all goes well.

    These days they pop in a lazy D&C before they put the zygote back in because its been found that fresh endometirum is more receptive. There’ll probably be another one of them if the cycle fails, too.

    And you’re fussed about a quick pull? GTFO!

  3. I have the same problem with my husband he will not get his boys tested. He believes that the insurance companies will use the information against him if he has problems down the tract, and use it not to pay him out stating that it will be prof that he had an underlining problem. Nuts right.
    I know insurance companies are dogs but he is paranoid and I want a child and I have had test that show nothing is wrong with me. I am pissed off and have know Idea how to deal with someone so off the topic.

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